Friday, September 26, 2008

From My Ivory Tower.

Here I sit, looking down upon all of artist in my ivory tower surrounded by elites. I'll just pour myself a martini, then we can get on with our little talk. One last time, I'll go over this, then it's off to another gala. And all this political trash-talk is putting my head in a foul space. And when I get a foul-head, my servants get nervous.

"You know, I think when ordinary working people come home, turn on the tvand see a gala of a bunch of people, you know, at a rich gala, all subsidized by the taxpayers, claiming their subsidies aren’t high enough when they know the subsidies have actually gone up, I’m not sure that’s something that resonates with ordinary people. Ordinary people understand we have to live within a budget. We have increased culture. We haven’t increased anybody’s budget without limit, so we’re not going to do this. I think this is a niche issue for some, but that’s my view..."

Which, moments later, produced the following question, asked (and answered) in French:

Good afternoon, Mr. Harper. I was listening to you speak English earlier, and you said that artists do not attract much pity, when they wear long gowns at gala evenings. Could you perhaps repeat what you said in French, and do you believe that artists are spoiled, Mr. Harper?
HARPER: It’s always a mistake, I think, to generalize about any group...
Well, no shit my fine friend, but that didn't stop you from doing it. Especially when counting on Francophone voters, some of whom may take great pride in seeing Quebec artists celebrated by their peers - provincial, national and international - even when it happens at a “rich gala”. Bad move in Quebec, where there are seats on the cusp of victory or defeat. There goes a majority, God-Damn it!
Shit, I spilled my drink in all the excitement! Next, Harper, my friend, call me before you speak about the arts.
The rest of Harper’s response, during which he fails to answer the question about whether he believes artists are “spoiled”. He never repeated what he said in French. I think he realized quickly that he said something that would set-off a shit storm. And it did. For the next two days anyway, by Saturday it will be forgotten. no harm, no foul. Canadians quickly forget and a new 'niche' issue will rear it's head.
After the October 14th Election and $240,000,000 of taxpayers money has been flushed down the toilet on anunnecessary exercise, Canadians will settle in for the winter and the coming Christmas season...which I think starts Nov 1 in the fleecing and retail markets? Correct me if I'm wrong. People will be happy again, arms full ofiPodsiPhones, TVs, new computers and shouting like Tiny Tim, " God Bless Us, Every One!" All of it destined for future garage sales. All will be forgiven, because that's what Christmas is about.
Okay, okay. That's enough about Christmas, it's too early for that. Let's get to the Stock Market and the coming 'Crash'. There will be a definite shrinkage of the money supply, and that is always bad news for the 'disposable income' crowd. Lifestyles will be greatly diminished and half the people you know will declare bankruptcy or turn to prostitution for rent money and mortgages. This is what they mean by 'crash'.
Life will get meaner, especially with Harper leading the charge. The crime rate will skyrocket, especially by 14 year olds. Your home will be burglarized and you will suspect your neighbors, or worse, gangs of roving artists. Sales of canned dog food will go through the roof!
Whoops! I've got to get a grip on myself. This is supposed to be a harmless little blog?! And what am I thinking? Oil and gas will save us from that fate...right?
Okay, I told you I was in a foul head space - so I'll save that riff on off-duty cops working as armed debt collectors for later. The weekend's coming, and that means football. I'll make my predictions tomorrow. Hey! I should invite Harper over to watch a Rider game. Might smooth some things over...have a guy-talk, that sort of thing. I can remind him that sports is part of culture and all that. I just hope he doesn't think CFL players are over-paid and spoiled. Come to think of it, I better not invite him. He might say something he'll regret.
God Bless Us, Every One!

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