Saturday, September 27, 2008

Roughriders Will Be Savaged and Other CFL Predictions.

Hey, the weekend is coming, and it's time for sports. Specifically, Canadian Football. Let's face it: the only true blood sport in this country is politics. You can dabble in sports, but when you start lusting for power or a majority government, the joke is over. Politicians are the real gamblers and there is nothing they won't do to win. Nothing involving jockstraps or sports bras will ever come close to it for drama, savagery and the lust for the spoils of victory. Unless you attend a Rider game and sit on the East-side after fourteen hours of tail-gating and drinking. With that, on to my CFL predictions for the weekend:

Edmonton (7-5) at Winnipeg (4-8)
The Bombers have won two weeks in a row but this week's opponent isn't just another Eastern dog like Toronto or Hamilton. Edmonton shit-the-bed last week in Montreal, a game head coach Danny Maciocia called the worst in his three-plus seasons leading the Eskimos. Well, he should know, he's the worst 'still-employed' coach in theCFL. After a terrible start, Winnipeg seems to be getting its act together behind quarterback Kevin Glenn, who's coming off back-to-back 300-yards-plus passing games. The always rabid Coach Berry will have whipped his troops into shape for this one. Winnipeg is not as bad as their record suggests, and Edmonton is not as good as theirs.
Prediction: Winnipeg by 6.
Final: Winnipeg 30 Edmonton 23
Calgary (8-4) at Toronto (4-8)
It's the rematch of the 34-4 debacle last week in Calgary where the Argos were a disgusting embarrassment. Toronto and Calgary are two teams headed in polar opposite directions. And while Toronto head coach Don Matthews has learned a lot about his team, the talent gap between these two is too large. Quarterbacks Kerry Joseph and Cody Pickett could share duties against the Stamps. Sound familiar? When Toronto's season is over, Matthews is likely to relapse into his anxiety disorder and burn the house down. Which is not a bad thing, a cleansing fire just might be what the lumberjack ordered. Deadwood and over-paid duds will be gone and the Argos can commence to starting over...if they haven't already.
Prediction: Calgary by 13.
Final: Calgary 44 Toronto 16
Hamilton (2-10) at B.C. (7-5)
The Hamilton Tiger-Cats can't buy a break, but they bought Kenton Keith this week. They also bought Casey Printers for $500,000 and look how that turned out. Three of the past four weeks they've had wins on a plate and let them slip away with dumb mistakes and weak coaching. The lone exception was a loss against B.C. that turned out to be former head coach Charlie Taaffe's last game. No team from the Eastern time zone has won in Vancouver since the Cats did during the opening week of 2004 — former coach Greg Marshall's first game. Remember him? Rookie quarterback Quinton Porter has his work cut out for him in his first CFL start. Shivers made a wily and calculated move by stating that Keith is " insecure young man...who always needs assurance." And Shivers is considered a friend by Keith. With friends like that, Keith should punt Shivers and tell the man to head back to Vegas. I knew there was a reason I liked Shivers. If Keith can stay out of the nightclubs, he might succeed in Hamilton.
Prediction: B.C by 7.
Final: B.C 40 Hamilton 10
Saskatchewan (8-4) at Montreal (8-4)
Oh man, it does my black little heart no good to write this. The Roughriders, losers of two in a row and four of six, are suddenly in the thick of a dog-fight in the West Division. And while reaching the playoffs isn't a question, hosting a home playoff game is. Michael Bishop gets his fourth consecutive start against a Montreal team that iscake walking to the host's chair for the Eastern final. For Montreal, the worm has turned and they are coming to life like sunning rock lizards. Montreal will be a nasty golden snake with many arms and legs. My beloved Riders' injuries are finally catching up to them and the horseshoe that has been up their asses has finally fallen out.
Prediction: Montreal by 12.
Final: Montreal 37 Saskatchewan 12
Well, that's it in a nutshell. I have a feeling that the B.C/Hamilton game will be the most fun to watch. Happy gambling.

Conclusion: My predictions were correct, but point-spread was off. And the most entertaining game was the Bombers and Eskimos. The rest? Dismal, boring blow-outs. I'll do better next time...honest.

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